How Much Can a Person Bare?

There were and still are today, times when I feel like giving up on life. Tonight has been one of those nights. By now everybody should know that question that I hate being asked !It's hurtful to me as well as offensive. And when you start to hear it from your so called family members, it makes you want to back up, rewind, and throw up a middle finger in they face too. My ill-edged mother kept asking me questions  tonight on our way to church because I just recently found a job and will be starting soon. The conversation went from talking about the job to the way I do me to that fucking question. "Are you in to men?" she says. I laughed and said "Your funny". A "mother" who claims that they love they kids, but show NO type of fucking affection or interest in them -- is suppose to know everything about her kids in general. So I said NO like I normally do and went on about my business didn't say anything else about it. It wasn't until I reached church when I began to think more and more about it. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I eventually had to excuse myself and step away for a little bit otherwise I was for real going to LOOSE it and tear that motherfucker down.

 You may be asking yourself this question "If he say he not then why does he get so upset?" Here's your answer : After you've heard those words "Are you gay?" for so many years it begins to affect and get a hold on you after awhile, especially from people who you don't even know well enough, and they DON'T even want to get to know you because they instantly judge. I can't picture myself living that type of life yet everybody wants to label me as that. I've been getting asked that since I was in the 5th grade. The things they used to say, the people who you thought were your friends talking about you behind your back. I don't think there was EVER one place I felt comfortable enough to just be myself, I thought family was my comfort zone but it's clear as plain day they have their opinions too, and to them I say FUCK YOU yall ain't shit either. 

Never knowing what's the right thing to say at the moment, 

my confidence shot down, not even wanting to open my mouth,

shy and timid afraid of what people will say. Will I have 

to deal with this for the rest of my life? I wonder? I'm hanging in their ------> barely 

though